


The Avengers in Print

by eden22



Series: Steve Rogers vs the Media [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Gossip, Humor, M/M, Magazines, News Media, Newspapers, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, trashy gossip magazines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 14:23:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3137591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eden22/pseuds/eden22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of print articles relating to the Avengers (and Captain America in particular).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Captain Lives

**Author's Note:**

> After all that about not writing any more in this verse... I got a new computer and thus have photoshop again... so of course the first thing I did was make a fake article about Steve Rogers.
> 
> Article text is below the image in case you find it difficult to read :)
> 
> Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own.

Steven Grant Rogers was born on the 4th of July, 1918 in Brooklyn, NY, the son of poor Irish immigrants. He graduated from George Washington High School in 1936, and attended Auburndale Art School from 1937-38. From 1939-43, he worked as a newspaper boy. Plagued throughout his youth by a variety of illnesses, it was unlikely that Rogers would live to see old age, much less serve in the US Army. All of that changed when he was chosen for Operation Rebirth. 

Operation Rebirth was a top-secret military operation lead by General Chester Phillips of the US Army that aimed to create a entire army of super soldiers. When Rogers volunteered to be the first, experimental recipient of Dr. Erskine’s serum, Rogers became the first enhanced human being – body and mind. Unfortunately for the US war effort, Erskine was assassinated, and the secret of the serum died with him. Even then, Rogers might have ended up as nothing more than a tool of the propaganda machine, selling war bonds and patriotism. But in 1943 while on tour in Italy Rogers learned that an entire unit had gone MIA, and when AWOL to stage a one-man rescue mission and Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America, became the world’s first superhero.

Captain America has influenced every aspect of American since his disappearance into the Atlantic ice in 1943. From music and television to film and art, Captain America is an iconic image of American patriotism, used by everyone from Vietnam war protestors to Republican senators. Though the aggressively patriotic imagery of Captain America had fallen out of fashion by the last 60s, Bruce Springsteen’s 1984 album Born in the USA revitalized the image of Captain America in the public. The song Lost Hero marked the first in a string of hit songs, films, and even a short lived television series in the 90s, all celebrating Captain America’s legacy. The interpretations of Captain America range from the more staunchly patriotic (Spielberg’s 1995 hit The Captain) to the subversive (Lee’s 2004 homoerotic reinterpretation of the relationship between Captain Rogers and his long-time friend, Sergeant Barnes, Love In The Time of Bombings). Then, last year, it was revealed that a S.H.I.E.L.D search team had found Captain Rogers frozen in ice, and the Captain lived. With that announcement, a legend came to life.

The revelation that Steve Rogers was alive created a startling dissonance between the use of Captain America as an iconic image, a historical figure, and the reality of who Steve Rogers is. Though he hasn’t done any interviews since the announcement that he is alive, nor has he been seen in public, the reveal that Steve Rogers is alive has incited a public debate over who he is and who he stands for, now that he is no longer a distant (and stagnant) figure. Wether or not Captain Rogers ever agains takes up the mantle of the world’s original superhero, there is no question that the announcement of his survival has fundamentally shaken the image of Captain America.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates for this will most likely be extensive and sporadic.


	2. The New Boss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Pepper is a boss. 
> 
> Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own.

Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist… superhero. Everyone in America is familiar with the prodigal son of Stark Industries, Tony Stark. After his capture by terrorists in Afghanistan in 2008, and his subsequent imprisonment and escape, Stark announced that Stark Industries, which had been the chief weapons manufacturer for the American military since Howard Stark had founded the company, would no longer be building weapons. This shocking announcement saw the company’s stock plummet, and had many predicting the abrupt downfall of an industry giant. The reveal of Tony Stark’s actions as the superhero Iron Man did little to assuage stockholder’s fears that the CEO was no longer fit for his position, and the world braced for the collapse of the company. 

However, these fears were to prove baseless. Stark’s genius, not limited to weapons manufacturing, turned to sustainable energy and its stock prices once again soared. Despite the positive upswing in Stark Industry’s public image, the company remained in internal chaos, with reports that Stark was no longer engaging with the company, instead focussing obsessively on the Iron Man suit. The announcement of the re-institutement of the Stark Expo in Flushing Meadows as a nod to his father’s legacy raised questions about the CEO’s vision for his company’s future, drawing comparisons between his apparent rejection of his father’s legacy with the closing of Stark Industry’s entire weapons manufacturing division, and the massive undertaking that was recreating the Stark Expo, which first opened in 1942. With rumours and speculation once again on the rise, Tony Stark appointed his personal assistant Pepper Potts CEO of Stark Industries. 

Virginia “Pepper” Potts graduated from Harvard in 1989 with a degree in business, and worked for several years at Airlist Industries before being headhunted to Stark Industries. Once at Stark Industries, Potts quickly rose through the company’s hierarchy, eventually securing her position as Tony Stark’s personal assistant. Known in the media as cooly professional, it quickly became apparent that Potts was more than up to the challenge of managing the reckless and headstrong genius. Despite her reputation in both the business world, and in the media at large, when it was announced that she had been appointed the new CEO of Stark Industries in an executive decision by Tony Stark, there was widespread questioning of her abilities to lead the company. Industry experts raised the issue of her inexperience, youth, and lack of qualifications. There was also widespread speculation that a secret sexual relationship between Potts and Stark had contributed to her appointment. Several months later, Potts seems determined to prove all her detractors wrong. 

Sitting in her office at Stark Tower in New York City, Pepper Potts is calm and collected as she rattles off a string of orders into her phone. The office itself is an exercise in minimalism, though evidence of the impressive collection of art that Potts curated for Stark during her time as his personal assistant adorns the walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "comapny" jesus christ this is why photoshop needs to have a spell checker


	3. Cap's Mystery Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never actually read STAR so if the tone of the article is off, thats why. 
> 
> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Captain America was spotted around town this weekend with a mysterious red-haired beauty. The couple, who were spotted spending time together around DC were later seen getting cozy during a shopping trip to a local mall, even kissing on the escalator. Is this love for America’s favourite frozen super soldier? And just who is this mysterious red-head? 

After the invasion of New York, and the reveal that America’s first superhero had returned from the dead, Captain America quickly became one of America’s most eligible bachelors (have you seen those muscles?!). However, there has been no sightings of the elusive Captain with anyone special before now. The couple looked happy and in love as they perused the mall, spending time looking at computers in the Apple store before strolling around the mall. Witnesses report the Captain laughing and smiling at the woman. “He looked utterly besotted,” said one witness, “he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her”. Another witness told STAR that the woman appeared equally infatuated. “She was laughing at all of his jokes, it was adorable,” the witness reported, “she was cuddling up against him and everything.”

The identity of the woman remains unknown, though she does bear some resemblance to the mysterious female member of the Avengers, known only as the Black Widow. Could Captain America be dating a teammate? And if so, what does this mean for the dynamics of the Avengers? Will this tear the team apart?


	4. Cap's New Boytoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am having way too much fun making these. 
> 
> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Just a few months after Captain America began a romance with his Avengers teammate the Black Widow, the happy couple is on the rocks after the Captain was caught cheating with an unknown man. Witnesses at the Stark benefit where the couple was first spotted described them as “going hot and heavy”. “They were all over each other,” a witness revealed to STAR, “the Captain couldn’t keep his hands off of him.” Another witness told STAR that the Captain snubbed the Black Widow the entire night in favour of his new flame. “She was livid,” the guest confessed, “she stood in the corner glaring at them the whole night.”

The scandal continued when the mysterious man was seen leaving the Captain’s apartment building early the next morning, clearly having spend the night with Captain Rogers. A source close to Rogers confirmed that he was seeing the man, and that things with the Widow hadn’t ended well. “It was really messy,” STAR’s exclusive source confirmed, “she’s still very angry. He started sleeping with the other guy before breaking it off with the Widow. And then he showed up to the benefit with him, rubbing it in her face.” “She’s hurt and she’s angry,” a source close to the Widow confessed, “she didn’t see this coming at all.”

It remains to be seen what effect the Captain’s cheating will have on the Avengers. Could this mean the end of the superhero team?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Come hang out with me on tumblr. ](http://stevesbootyshorts.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> Any requests or suggestions, dear readers?


	5. FROZEN SOVIET ASSASSIN RESPONSIBLE FOR HUNDREDS OF DEATHS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

WASHINGTON – The soviets have engineered a super assassin that they cryogenically freeze between missions, creating the perfect killer!

This startling claim comes from a former member of the Soviet secret police, who says that he was assigned a mission with the frozen super assassin, also known as the Winter Soldier. He claims the KGB had access to the killer, who was farmed out to various agencies to help fund the activities of the soviets – including attempts to create a genetically enhanced army of soldiers based off of Captain America. 

“Ever since Captain America was created, America’s enemies have been attempting to recreate the super soldier serum to destroy America,” declared our confidential informant, who says that the Nazi’s managed to recreate it in one man before the end of the war – the assassin code-named the Winter Soldier. 

The former KGB agent provided Weekly World News with a list of the Winter Soldier’s suspected hits, a list which clearly reveals the way in which the soviet’s have used the cryogenically frozen assassin to shape the world the way they want. 

In 1963 John F. Kennedy was assassinated while travelling in a motorcade in Dallas, Texas. Though the killing was attributed to Lee Harvey Oswald, this was a set up by the Soviet’s, as evidenced by the summary execution of Oswald by Jack Ruby two days later. 

In 1982 Eduardo Frei Montalva, the former President of Chile and opponent of the Pinochet dictatorship died from septicemia after a low-risk surgery, which was a cover for the assassination carried out by the Winter Soldier. The Soviet’s lent their frozen assassin to their allies in the Pinochet dictatorship in order to cement their ties in South America. 

In 1991 the Winter Soldier was sent to assassinate the famed weapons manufacturer Howard Stark, though it was staged to appear as an automobile accident, leaving Stark Industries in the hands of Obadiah Stane, allowing him to sell weapons to America’s enemies.

In 1994 Juvénal Habyarimana, the President of Rwanda, and Cyprien Ntaryamira, the President of Burundi were shot down by unknown attackers with a surface-to-air missile. This act by the Winter Soldier was meant to promote chaos in Rwanda and the surrounding regions. 

In 2006 the Winter Soldier shot Anna Politkovskaya, Russian journalist and human rights campaigner, in the elevator block of her apartment in Moscow when she threatened to expose the KGB’s secret history of controlling the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started a new (second) job this week so there may be less updates on this work. Then again, I made two of these tonight so.
> 
> [For a good time follow me on tumblr](http://stevesbootyshorts.tumblr.com/) (JK it's awful I'm awful)
> 
> I love the idea of a paper that everyone makes fun of and doesn't take seriously _actually_ being right about something as monumental and secret as the Winter Soldier (though they got the 'who' of his handlers wrong, but hey, it was pretty impressive they got what they did).


	6. Captain America Gay Sex Shocker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

The tumultuous and steamy love life of Captain America took a new turn last week when the esteemed Captain was spotted picking up the newspaper outside of a Brooklyn apartment early Wednesday morning, naked. Since reemerging from the ice, the Captain has been linked with many female celebrities, and, after coming out as bisexual, several male celebrities as well. Most recently, the Captain engaged in a brief but passionate affair with his Avengers teammate, the Black Widow, which tragically ended in heartbreak when the Captain was caught cheating with a mysterious new boy toy. Since STAR broke the shocking news of the Captain’s infidelity, Cap’s mysterious new flame has been seen leaving Stark Tower, Captain Roger’s apartment, and has even been spotted out on shopping trips with Cap.

These new photos, including the shocking ones taken by a neighbour show the two men cavorting in front of an open window, as well as Captain Rogers picking up the newspaper the next morning, totally naked! STAR was unable to discover who lived in the apartment but it appears that the Captain is re-embracing his Brooklyn roots with this new fling. One neighbour did comment that though they didn’t know who the man living in the apartment was, he was “handsome, but with kind of a scary vibe. Like, I feel like he could be some kind of professional killer.” The neighbour confirmed that the Cap had been in and out of the apartment frequently. The question is, why is Captain hiding the identity of his newest conquest? Just who is this mystery man who has stollen the Captain’s heart, and why has no one managed to identify him? 

While speculation runs rampant as to the identity of this mysterious new man, the Captain’s team continues to refuse to comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't stop won't stop.
> 
> [Hang out with me on tumblr, it's super fun](http://stevesbootyshorts.tumblr.com/)
> 
> The "neighbour" may or may not be Clint.


	7. Captain America: I'm In Love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Several months ago the world was stunned to learn that the Winter Soldier – the assassin who notably came to the world’s attention during the info dump preceding the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D – was none other than brainwashed POW Bucky Barnes, noted war hero and Steve Roger’s childhood friend. After the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D it quickly became apparent that the assassin, whose kill count, according to leaked S.H.I.E.L.D documents, reached the hundreds, was still unidentified. Rumours and speculation quickly began flying as to the identity of the Soldier, but, rather than leave it up to chance, Barnes decided to come forward, announcing himself to the world and telling his heart wrenching tale. 

After the reveal that Barnes himself was the famed assassin, it wasn’t long before someone was going to deduce that the Cap’s new mysterious boyfriend was none other than Barnes himself. Rather than waiting to be outed, Rogers and Barnes chose to announce their relationship during a press conference, with the shocking reveal that the pair had, in fact, been a couple since their teenage years in the ‘30s. Shortly after this press conference, Rogers posted a picture to his Instagram which quickly went viral, showing the happy couple relaxing at home in Barnes’ Brooklyn apartment. 

“I wasn’t really expecting all of this,” Rogers admitted to People, smiling bashfully, “the support from people… it’s been lovely.” Barnes sits next to him in the cafe, holding his hand under the table. “It’s strange,” Rogers continued, “to be able to be out in the open like this, holding Buck’s hand,” he gestured around the room before smiling, “it’s hard to get over the fact that we won’t be arrested or beaten for it.” Rogers has become well known in the media for making statements which highlight his support for equal rights, and his stories of growing up highlight the changes that have occurred in American society. 

“We got jumped one time, coming out of a club,” Barnes interjects with a grin, “of course, we could have just stayed home and no one would have been the wiser but this one-“ he shoves at Rogers’ shoulder affectionately, “-didn’t see the shame in it and wouldn’t be scared into hiding, least not all the way.” 

“You got them something good,” Rogers says, smiling at Barnes, who laughs. 

“Well they shouldn’t have assumed we’d go down without a fight, just ‘cause they went after a couple of faeries.” Rogers and Barnes continue to bicker back and forth, the familiarity and comfort they take in each other clear to anyone who is near. 

“I’m in love with him,” Rogers confesses later, “I always have been.” It’s clear to anyone that Barnes feels the same, staying close to Rogers the entire interview.

“I just got him back,” Barns admits, “I don’t like having him very far.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've made a tutorial at the request of someone on tumblr for how I make these, so, if you're interested, [you can see it here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zha7yObRM1I&feature=youtu.be) and hear me be super awkward. 
> 
>  
> 
> [You should also come follow me on tumblr. Because. ](http://stevesbootyshorts.tumblr.com/)


	8. The Winter Soldier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Sorry for the huge gap between updates, friends! My new job has been kicking my ass (thou I still managed to make some [HP Hermione magazine covers](http://stevesbootyshorts.tumblr.com/tagged/black-hermione-forever) so really I have no excuse).

The fall of SHIELD last year marked the release of a flood of classified information onto the web for the world to see. What followed could only be described as a mad scramble as governments around the world attempted to capitalize on the information released before anyone else was able to. After the dust settled, there remained huge chunks of suddenly declassified information which were slowly read and reviewed by politicians, government agencies, journalists, and ordinary citizens alike. While various persons whose identities and histories had previously been kept from public, such as the ex-Soviet spy known widely by her Avengers moniker, the Black Widow, were included in the information, others remained shrouded in mystery. One such person was the assassin codenamed The Winter Soldier. 

The Soldier, who is frequently referred to in documents as simply “the asset”, was revealed in the declassified SHIELD documents – but not much else. However, given that the existence of the assassin – despite the high number of kills attributed to him in the documents – was previously unknown, this revelation nonetheless managed to spark investigations by several organizations into the identity, and entire history, of the Soldier. 

Those organizations would not have to wait long, or even finish their investigations before the identity of the Soldier was revealed to them. Less than a year after the destruction of the world’s largest intelligence organization, the Winter Soldier introduced himself to the world, wearing a surprising face. The revelation that the Soldier was none other than Captain America’s childhood friend Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes shocked the world. The Sergeant had previously been declared MIA, presumed dead, several weeks before the Captain himself took his plunge into the Arctic after falling from a train into a gorge during an operation with the Howling Commandos. Posthumously awarded medals of valour and widely regarded in history as an exemplary soldier, hero, and one of America’s best snipers during WWII, Barnes was believed long dead and gone. 

The story that emerged in the following weeks told a harrowing tale of brainwashing, torture, and cryogenics. Groups emerged pushing for the Soldier to go to trial for the assassinations he had committed while under the control of Hydra and the USSR, while others called for the Soldier to be pardoned, and acknowledgement of the trials he had undergone in his 70+ years as a prisoner of war. 

No pictures remain of Barnes prior to joining the army, and the few that come from his time with the US military come from sets of propaganda pictures with Captain America and the Howling Commandos. When taken in contrast with pictures of the Soldier, the photographs tell a grim story. While the young Barnes appears full of life and energy, smiling despite being in a war zone, joking with his friend Rogers, the Soldier is grim faced and dead-eyed, spending his public appearances staring at reporters without blinking or smiling. Indeed the Soldier himself has yet to make any sort of statement regarding the ordeals he underwent during his time in Russian and Hydra control, instead standing silently by Captain America in his few public appearances, allowing Rogers and Rogers’ PR manager to speak for him. 

“Barnes has been tortured, had his arm torn away from him and replaced with a machine without his consent, brainwashed, frozen, unfrozen, and forced to preform countless murders,” said Roger’s PR manager, Khalida Red, in a statement to a press following the announcement of the Soldier’s identity, “Captain America asks for privacy in this difficult time as he and Barnes work to recover Barnes’ sense of identity, and begin to work towards undoing the horrific harm visited upon him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Come hang out with me on tumblr](http://stevesbootyshorts.tumblr.com/)


	9. Trouble in Paradise?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

After a whirlwind romance with his Avengers teammate Natasha Romanoff, Captain America revealed that he had ended his relationship with the redheaded woman in favour of his long-lost best friend and childhood love, Bucky Barnes. The story of their decades long romance – which began in a time in which being gay was illegal – captured the imagination of the nation as America embraced the star-crossed lovers. Academics long derided for their fringe theories speculating that Rogers and Barnes were more than friends were finally validated, and the couple renewed their romance in the public eye, obviously happy and in love. 

However, this was apparently not to last as the Captain has again showed his true colours. The Captain, whose unfaithfulness was well-documented over the breakdown of his relationship with Romanoff, which the Captain failed to break off before restarting his affair with Barnes, is apparently right back to his old tricks. Rogers was spotted leaving a popular New York club late Saturday morning with his arm around Romanoff, while Barnes was nowhere to be seen. 

“They were all over each other,” a witness told STAR, “from the time they entered the club they were dancing up on each other, Rogers was talking in her ear, buying her drinks… no one could keep their eyes off him.” 

“Barnes has been out of the country,” confirmed a source close to the Avengers, “and while he’s been away… well, lets just say that Steve hasn’t exactly been staying in pining.” The source went on to tell STAR that while Rogers and Romanoff had broken off their romance after the revelation of his affair with Barnes, the two had remained close. “I mean, Natasha was angry at him for a long time, but after that, well, things between them have always been heated, whether romantic or otherwise.” 

After leaving the club, Rogers and Romanoff left together in a cab. However, the most damning evidence surfaced several days later, when the two superheroes were spotted on a romantic date on a New York rooftop. The couple ate, laughed, kissed, and overall appeared totally in love. The sexual tension between the two teammates is undeniable as is the affection. What will happen when Barnes returns remains to be seen, but it is very clear that whatever he has with Barnes, Rogers isn’t yet over the Black Widow. 

\----------

Bucky looked up at Steve over the top of the magazine, raising an eyebrow.

"You had a picnic? On a rooftop?"

"It was his idea," Natasha threw out as she passed by the two men on her way into the kitchen. 

"I thought it was romantic," Steve frowned, crossing his arms defensively across his chest. 

"Did you see what I said?" Clint leaned over the back of the couch, pointing at the page and grinning, "I was all insinuating and shit." Bucky jerked the magazine away with a growl, leaning away from the other man. 

"I still haven't forgotten you took those pictures of me and Steve fucking-" Natasha's laugh was audible from the kitchen, "-and I haven't forgiven you either." Clint swallowed, giving the other man a shaky smile. 

"I'm helping now?" he offered, and Bucky rolled his eyes as Natasha returned to the room, flopping down on the couch next to Bucky with her tea. 

"Still," she said, grabbing the magazine and looking at the pictures, "it's a good start." She looked up to see Steve and Bucky grinning at each other. 

"Yeah," Steve said slowly, "a good start."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. They're all officially trolling the fuck out of the gossip mags. This is probably going to start seriously testing my photoshop skills. 
> 
>  
> 
> [Come hang out on tumblr its super fun](http://stevesbootyshorts.tumblr.com/)


End file.
